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Be Successful in Life |
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For poetic prescriptions to be successful - CLICK HERE The problem lies is how we define success. Our culture associates success with external symbols such as beauty, money, fame and power. Yet people who attain these outer symbols are no less immune from feeling dissatisfaction, disillusionment and depression. Even worse, if the person identifies their own personal worth or value with these outer symbols and then they are taken away or lost, their self esteem will plummet and they find themselves sinking into despair. As we continue on our life’s journey we all need to decide for ourselves what success truly means to us? What do I really want to achieve? How do I want to feel about myself? How do I judge what is important? Each of us will define success differently. There is no common magic formula. Moreover, as we journey through life and grow, our ideas about success will probably change and mature. The important thing is to be true to our own definition of success. Instead of talking about the rather nebulous term, success, I have chosen to focus on to what makes a successful life. This reflects my personal thoughts on the elements of a successful life. I certainly don’t have all the answers but my observations as a doctor, my patients’ experiences and my own personal journey have given me some interesting insights to share. I believe that a successful life has basically five elements: self acceptance, authenticity, self care, meaningful relationships and meaningful daily activity. These can be cultivated by developing several important qualities including gratitude, integrity, courage, humility. Firstly, the greatest asset to a successful life is self acceptance and self love. We need to know that the essence of “who we are” is unique and valuable and it deserves and yearns to be expressed. We all tend to doubt our own worth, but we are not our best judges. In fact we are usually our harshest critic. Most people are too aware of their numerous faults and foibles and all the areas in which they need to improve. How many of us are able to acknowledge our own strengths, abilities and goodness. To live a successful life we must be able to love and honour ourselves and to allow “who we are” to be expressed. The second ingredient for successful living is the importance of being authentic, being real. We need to find the courage to show our authentic self, to find, follow and have faith in our own path through life. To often we follow other people’s agendas, do things to please others, conform to cultural expectations. Often we are afraid to be different or challenge the accepted norms. But as a doctor I have seen how much it costs people to live this way. When we lie, deny, pretend, cover up, people-please or simply fail to speak our truth in a situation, it takes an enormous toll on our emotional, mental and physical well-being. On the other hand, when we dare to be authentic, we find it is incredibly freeing and a far more effortless, enjoyable and successful way to live. Thirdly, self care is an important priority for anyone wanting a successful life. We need to look after our body, mind and spirit and nurture ourselves so that we have the best health possible. It is a skill we need to cultivate and it includes taking responsibility for all our basic human needs. Ask yourself, “Am I getting enough rest and exercise? Am I experiencing enough fun, recreation and enjoyment? Am I nourishing my body with healthy food? Am I nourishing my mind by learning new things?” I often observe a correlation between an individual’s capacity for self care and their capacity to be successful in the world. Fourthly we need meaningful relationships in our life. Life is not meant to be journeyed alone. We need to be able to share both our fears and our joys. We need to be able to have a space where we are vulnerable but safe, protected by people who care about us. How many people in your life do you feel close to? Who can you confide in and open your heart to? Who do you trust? Whenever I talk with terminal patients I am reminded of this truth. No-one lies on their death bed saying, “Gee, if only I’d spent more time at the office” or “Gosh, if only I’d bought more houses or cars.” What they do say is that they wish they had spent more time with the people they love or they wish they’d opened their hearts and been closer to others. Finally, a truly successful life is one with meaning and purpose in how we spend our time. Whether through our career, raising children or a social, activity, if we feel a sense of purpose and enthusiasm for the activities that make up our day, we can consider ourselves living successfully. What better definition of success than loving what you do each day and jumping out of bed each day, happy to do it. As a doctor I have seen countless illnesses that are caused or aggravated by staying stuck in a lifestyle, job or situation that is miserable or unfulfilling. Many patients, although financially successful, are living lives of quiet desperation, enduring high pressure careers that give no sense of meaning. Are the activities that make up your typical day full of drudgery or enjoyment? Only when we choose to do what we enjoy can we live well and grow. I believe if we incorporate these five elements; self acceptance, authenticity, self care, meaningful relationships and meaningful daily activity, we will be truly rich in the ways that count. I have written these poems to help people define what success means to them so they may start to live it and, when they are dying, they can tell their doctor that they lived a successful life. Take some time and read one of the poetic prescriptions: | ||